Fort Collins Brewery - Retro Red

Well, after about an hour to get the awful Big Flats taste out of my mouth, it's time to get to the second review of the night. I've been looking forward to this review because it is for a beer out of Colorado, and when I think Colorado, I think Fat Tire. Unfortunately, being in Florida, it's a bit of a pain to get Fat Tire as they don't sell it in my lovely state. Fear not my friends, I will keep my composure and move on, to Fort Collins Retro Red. If you read my about me profile thingy, you'll notice that I was a "beer hater" for many years. Over the last year though, I've broadened my horizons and starting trying other beers. Of all of the different types I've tried, IPA's, Double IPA's, Ambers, Porters, etc., I think that red ambers have become my favorite style. So moving into this review of Retro Red, I will try to avoid being bias... unlike Fox News when they talk about Sarah Parlin (ha! political joke! moving on...)

Upon pouring this Fort Collins into my standard Blue Point glass, I was greeted by a much darker brew than what I was expecting. It's a very dark red, almost brown. The head quickly fizzed away, which was a little disappointing, but hey, what's the point of the head anyway. The smell is a fantastic mixture of sweetness, malt, a little bit of cinnamon, and roastiness. It has a fantastic texture, carmel and malty, a little hoppy aftertaste. I'd say that it's very drinkable, and having more than one isn't such a bad idea thanks to just 5.2% ABV.

As a sidebar, it appears that Retro Red will no longer be known as such sometime in 2011. According to the Fort Collins website, Retro Red will be transformed into Red Banshee! Yikes, sounds scary. Never fear Super Beer Drinkers, apparently the Red Banshee is a super hot red head siren. If you're a Retro Red fan, it appears that the recipe and general flavors will stay the same, so don't worry about the babe screwin' up your favorites.

To wrap this sucker up, scale of 1 to 10, I'll give the Retro a modern day 7. I liked it, I could have a second, and it's a pretty red amber. Grab a retro people, before the hot red headed Banshee kills our super heros! Ahh!

Big Flats 1901 aka "The Walgreens Beer"

Okayyy, so, tonight there will be two reviews. If you're wondering why: Stop, and read what the first review is for. You'll see below that I did a quick news item on this "beer" last night, Big Flats 1901. Walgreens has entered the beer scene - not sure if we can say it's the craft beer scene or not, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, this beer has become quite a joke between my friends over the past 24 hours, so I was compelled to go to my local Walgreens and "splurge" on a $2.99 six pack. As we were checking out, my wife chuckled at the total price, which was around $3.20 after tax, to which the cashier responded "It's actually not that bad. It's not good, but it's not bad". Got a good laugh from that one.

Yeah, that's a Bud Light glass

Okay, so this beer pours super light, we're definitely headed in the wrong direction. The can proudly states "Brewed from only the choicest hops", and placed in-between that "label" is a graphic saying "Genuine Beer". At the bottom "It's the water that makes it." On the side of the can: "Brewed by Brewmaster's Choice, Rochester, NY." It goes down very lightly, and there is a very slight trace of fruit and malt, it's incredibly watery on the roof of the mouth, light carbonation. ABV is at 4.5%, so nothing too heavy, and actually, that's higher than I thought it would be.

Overall, not a very good beer. However, if you're headed to the beach, want to get hammered, and don't really care what your beer tastes like, this is actually a good choice. I mean, you can't go wrong at $2.99. On a scale of 1 to 10, this pharmacy store offering gets a 4. Not a bad color, but everything else lacks. This can would go good next to a dead deer head in the garage....

Walgreens.... beer?

If you live in the suburban United States, chances are that within a five mile radius of your home, there is a Walgreens pharmacy. Walgreens isn't such a bad company, I suppose. Unfortunately most of their grocery items are pretty over priced, but if you need a medical item, or a cheap toy, they're pretty solid. Well, I stumbled across an article today (Walgreens selling its own private-label beer), and, it gave me a sour feeling in my stomach. Apparently, in December, Walgreens, with little fanfare, starting selling their own beer product, known as "Big Flats 1901". According to the article, the senior marketing director for the alcohol company (Winery Exchange) brewing this stuff said that "consumer feedback has been very positive". Well, if you zip on over to Beer Advocate, where contributors have graded it a "C" (mediocre), it makes me wonder what type of "consumer feedback" they're looking at. What's even crazier, again according to the article, is that a six-pack of cans is only $2.99. 

Enough of my rant, have you tried this stuff? If so, leave a comment. Here's a link to the article again: Walgreens selling its own private-label beer. 

Bell's Hopslam Ale

So, tonight will be the first actual beer review featured on GULP! Hopslam by Bell's Brewery, out of Comstock, Michigan, is the latest buzz online. In fact, on Beer Advocate, there are almost 2000 reviews of this baby. I bought it at the local Total Wine store, of course, and was pleased that for the most part, they had a pretty good number of the single bottles, especially considering all the hype it was getting. So, I was pretty excited about the whole thing; also because it's the first Double IPA I'll have tried. But, I'm jabbering, so without further adieu, let's do this thing.

Holy mother of hops. If you don't like hoppy ale's or IPA's, this beer is NOT for you. There are a few emergency signs of what you will experience with this Hulk Hogan of a Double IPA. First off, the name is Hopslam, and wow, this baby is hoppy! The back label warns you with: "a biting, bitter, tongue bruiser of an ale. With a name like Hopslam, what did you expect?" That, slogan, we'll call it, is pretty close, but don't expect to fall off your chair calling 911. However, it does measure up to 10% ABV, so make sure you have some grub beforehand.

Hopslam pours a beautiful golden honey orange with a decent sized head. The aroma is intense, full of hops, honey, and citrusy fruit. On the way down, you'll notice a creamy texture, and you will get a hoppy aftertaste. Overall, it is really tasty, and quite drinkable. For some reason, it puts me in the mood for some vanilla ice cream. I can't figure out why, maybe because I was craving some beforehand... perhaps I thought it would go well together. I'll have to think some more about that. Vanilla Hopslam. You listening Bell's people?

Now, at the request of a friend of mine, I'm going to provide ratings for the brews at the conclusion of the write up. That being said, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'll give Hopslam a 9. It's very drinkable, nice to look at, and full of flavor. So, go out to your local package store, such as Total Wine (plug) and buy yourself the beer that could possibly be  a finishing move in the WWE - HOPSLAM BROTHER!!

What's on Tap for GULP!

What's up party people. It's Monday, a new week, and less than 14 days until the most anticipated sporting event of 2011... at least until the next most anticipated sporting event of 2011. Thanks for coming back to the site. I've spent a bit of cash money lately on brews that I'd like to try, and of course share with you, my faithful, loyal, readers. That being said, the picture above will give you a sample of what's on tap here for GULP! in the near future. They aren't in any particular order, but I will say that I plan on starting with Hopslam from Bell's. Hopslam has been getting a lot of airplay online lately, but I'm not going to say anymore because then my eventual review will be skeletal. Anyway, you may recognize some of the selections, such as the Terrapin Hopsecutioner, some you may not, such as the Lobstah' Ale. Either way, prepare to be bombarded with information as I plow through these bottles of fun over the next couple weeks.

On a side note, please "follow me" and tell your friends. We're going to have some fun going through this journey together, so the more the merrier. Plus, I could use some more friends (no offense real friends).

Be responsible!

Steve